Changing Seasons and Changing Habits in Caregiving with Elizabeth Miller

Summary:
In this episode of the CareLab podcast, hosts Brandy Archie and Emilia Bourland welcome Elizabeth Miller, a family caregiver advocate and host of the "Happy Healthy Caregiver" podcast. The discussion revolves around the personal insights they've gained as caregivers and strategies for managing the upcoming back-to-school season and holiday stress. Elizabeth shares practical tips on how to reset and find joy during these hectic times, drawing from her own experiences and the wisdom she's gathered through her advocacy work.


Key Takeaways:

• Self-awareness as a caregiver: Elizabeth, Brandy, and Emilia reflect on their strengths and weaknesses as caregivers, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness.
• Tough love vs. nurturing: Finding a balance between encouraging independence and providing care can be challenging, but it's essential for both the caregiver and the person receiving care.
• Back-to-school reset: Elizabeth suggests using the back-to-school season as a more realistic time than New Year's to reset and implement changes for personal health and happiness.
• Simplifying holiday traditions: To manage holiday stress, Elizabeth recommends simplifying traditions, asking family members what truly matters to them, and focusing on those key elements.
• Making the year delightful: Instead of traditional resolutions, Elizabeth advocates for creating a list of joyful activities or experiences to look forward to in the coming year.

 

Transcript:
Brandy Archie, OTD, OTR/L, CLIPP Welcome to Camera Lab, we're here.

Emilia Bourland, OTR, ECHM, CFPS Hello. Welcome to Care Lab. Yay, it's Care Lab Day.

Brandy Archie, OTD, OTR/L, CLIPP Yeah, I'd be.

Emilia Bourland, OTR, ECHM, CFPS Okay, today's gonna be a really good one because we have a... No, the other ones are also... Geez, Brandy, come on now. Yeah, no, the other ones are also great. So if you haven't listened previously to Care Lab, you should definitely like and subscribe and go ahead and check out all of the episodes. And just as soon, well, like and subscribe right now. Listen to the other episodes.

Brandy Archie, OTD, OTR/L, CLIPP Because the other ones are bad.

Brandy Archie, OTD, OTR/L, CLIPP I mean, I'm just saying. I'm not saying, you look nice today. And you're like, well done. You were bad yesterday.

Brandy Archie, OTD, OTR/L, CLIPP See, that was a nice softball.

I'm sorry.

Emilia Bourland, OTR, ECHM, CFPS right after you finish this one that we're starting right now with the fabulous and amazing Elizabeth Miller, who I'm going to tell you just a little bit about. And then we're going to pop into our little icebreaker question before we get serious here. But we're really, really grateful and excited to have Elizabeth here today. She is an incredible family caregiver advocate. She

is a family caregiver, has been a family caregiver herself. She's a speaker, an author, a podcast host. She is a certified caregiving consultant, a certified senior advisor. She has a ton of personal experience caring for her own aging parents, as well as a sibling with developmental disabilities, which ended up being what inspired her to create Happy Healthy Caregiver, which is also the name of the podcast. She's currently an empty nester living in Marietta, Georgia with her

been in two dogs and she's here with us today. Yay! Welcome Elizabeth!

Elizabeth Miller, Happy Healthy Caregiver Thank you. Thank you, ladies. I'm delighted to be here. And I got to tell you, if people don't know which episode to go back and listen to after this one, I would recommend how to pay for the equipment. And yeah, it's a good one. I'm going to share that one in my newsletter. I love to gather the resources and learn about Ask Sammy. I didn't know about that. So I'm going to be sharing it all.

Emilia Bourland, OTR, ECHM, CFPS Brandy Archie, OTD, OTR/L, CLIPP Yeah

Emilia Bourland, OTR, ECHM, CFPS yeah. Thank you so much for doing that, by the way. And I'll fangirl on Ask Sammy all day long. It's the brainchild of Dr. Brandy Archie here. And it's just one of the coolest things that I think I've ever seen, especially in terms of how easy it is to use and how accessible it is. But sorry, but this episode is, it's not about that. Check it out in the meantime. Let's get started with our little fun question.

Brandy Archie, OTD, OTR/L, CLIPP Not about...

Brandy Archie, OTD, OTR/L, CLIPP Okay, so everybody here has been a caregiver for somebody, whether it's a parent, a sibling, a kid. And so my question to you all is, what's something unexpected that you've learned about yourself as being a caregiver?

Elizabeth Miller, Happy Healthy Caregiver I can, do you want me to go first? Yes, I realized like I'm a kind person and a nurturing person, but I'm also a tough love kind of person. Like there's, I have siblings in my family and particularly when we were caring for mom, what I realized about myself is that I am a better cheerleader for family caregivers than I am actually a hands -on caregiver.

Brandy Archie, OTD, OTR/L, CLIPP I do.

Mm -hmm.

Brandy Archie, OTD, OTR/L, CLIPP Mm.

Elizabeth Miller, Happy Healthy Caregiver That's something I realized. And I also realized I don't have a lot of patience, but I got better at that. I got better at that throughout caregiving.

Brandy Archie, OTD, OTR/L, CLIPP I know this is supposed to be one question, but let me ask another question about that. How did learning that about yourself impact how you provide care or how you are as a caregiver?

Elizabeth Miller, Happy Healthy Caregiver I mean, I don't think there's anything wrong with it, right? Like knowing that about yourself. Like my sister is the nurturer in our family. Like she's the one that loves to do the cooking and the cleaning and the care, and she's gonna make it all happen. I'm gonna make it happen, but I'm gonna do it, and I'm also gonna require you to be involved in that. And from a occupational therapist and a physical therapist, I think that's probably what you all, maybe you want, because we...

Brandy Archie, OTD, OTR/L, CLIPP Yeah.

Elizabeth Miller, Happy Healthy Caregiver push back like on my mom and on my brother to try to see like, what are they capable of doing and to do those things for as long as they possibly can, which kind of comes off sometimes maybe as mean. But yeah, it's I call it tough love.

Brandy Archie, OTD, OTR/L, CLIPP Okay.

Mm -hmm. Yeah.

Emilia Bourland, OTR, ECHM, CFPS And you're right, like we actually, we do love that. Cause I would say I've spent a lot of time doing family caregiver education, like at bedside where I'm saying, I know that you want to care for this person because caring is an act of love and it's how you're showing that you love this person. But in order to get better, this person needs you to stop a little bit and sit on your hands and let them try and let them struggle.

because there's no other way through. So you are absolutely correct. Appreciate that very much. So I think that what I learned is that I am not as patient as I thought that I was, which is interesting because I feel like from a clinical standpoint, I have endless amounts of patience for my patients. But when I walk in the door at home, that

that runs out pretty quickly. And so that's something that I've found that maybe doesn't actually come as naturally as I thought it did, depending on the context. And it's something that I've worked on. Sometimes I think it is good to say, OK, I'm not going to baby you through this. We're going to move on through this process. And this isn't as dire as it seems. But on the other hand, I think sometimes I have found that

it probably would benefit me to slow things down and like, mostly like slow things down and change my expectations, you know, to be more realistic to meet the needs of, you know, my kids or whoever I'm caring for around me. Cause sometimes like they just can't, they can't always go at the same speed that I am. And if I'm not in therapist mode and I'm expecting other people to go all the same speed I am, like that doesn't always work out super well. So that's been.

Elizabeth Miller, Happy Healthy Caregiver And to add to that, Amelia, I know my mom used to say that about me. She's like, Elizabeth, you moved too fast for me. You know, you blah, blah, blah. But I'm like, it's different when you're the family caregiver and not the professional that's caring because I already have taken a half day off work. You say, why do you have to schedule things so early in the morning? Well, because I'm already missing a half day. We're going to miss a meal. I'm going to have to feed you. So all of that is kind of going through your head as a family caregiver. When you're a professional,

Emilia Bourland, OTR, ECHM, CFPS Yes.

Emilia Bourland, OTR, ECHM, CFPS Yeah.

Elizabeth Miller, Happy Healthy Caregiver you're getting paid to kind of show up and do your things. So I think it is different when you've got your mind swirling around all the other pieces of life that go with it.

Brandy Archie, OTD, OTR/L, CLIPP Yeah, for sure. I think mine is a combo of that in that I think I realized that I have a lot of capacity for compassion and patience with my dad. He had a stroke and he really likes me to work on his hand and try to get his movement back in his hand. And it hasn't really been very successful, but I'm willing to sit there for a really long time and keep working on it. And I realized that's because he seems really willing to work with me on it. So like,

I really want you to succeed, you're trying so hard, I'm willing to be there with you. But I also learned that if you seem to me to not be trying that hard, I will lose patience very quickly. I'm like, well, I care more about this than you do. And I don't really want to do it anymore. You don't want to do it. I don't want to do it. So I have learned that about myself that maybe I need to check that attitude a little bit.

Elizabeth Miller, Happy Healthy Caregiver Yeah. And I think the other thing that I've learned, I know this is just one question, but here we go, is, um, that when we become the patient ourselves, I think that's something too. Like I was having a bunion surgery. I had a little scooter that I was on. Um, my husband was helping me a lot. And then he was actually having shoulder surgery at the same time. So we were both kind of like not even functioning adults. Um, but when you become the patient, it's like you,

you kind of see things through a different lens as well. You know, like you were saying, we move fast, we want things done quickly. So we have to maybe make sure we slow down. That's another layer of it too.

Emilia Bourland, OTR, ECHM, CFPS And you're always both, like in real life, right? You're always both. Because when you're the caregiver and you've taken on that responsibility, whether it's a temporary thing or whether it's a permanent thing, that's a layer of responsibility that you've taken on. But you also never stop being a human being that has their own needs, right? And so like,

I can imagine that it's especially tricky, you know, and there's all kinds of things that we deal with, like caregiver burden, but that constant tug of war between, um, like my needs versus their needs. And how do I get both of those met? Right. Like, cause it can't be either or, but it's like, I think sometimes it's very easy to fall into an either or mentality. I'm sure you've seen that a lot in your work.

Elizabeth Miller, Happy Healthy Caregiver Oh, yeah. And like, you know, we're getting into the back to school time, right? So it's like a back to school reset for a lot of people. And we kind of use this back to school time to kind of reevaluate our own routines. And I encourage my clients to do that too, to see like what is working, what's not working. And, you know, like you were saying, we're kind of getting into this mindset where we're kind of going through the motions and we want to be intentional with what we're doing.

And so you kind of need this reset sometimes. And sometimes we don't always take that opportunity for whatever it may be, but I think back to school is a good time to kind of take a look and be like, okay, what do we need to do to get ourselves healthy again?

Emilia Bourland, OTR, ECHM, CFPS You just said the magic word. I know, Brandy's going to jump on this, but like, so you said intention and like, like you can't see it in the recording, but she's over there like giving us fist bumps and air hugs because, um, like setting intentions, being intentional. So important. Um, but like, I also like that you brought up that idea of

like, back to school because I think we think about the holiday season a lot of times too. So like, so back to school is one of those reset moments. Like New Year's, it's one of those reset moments. Like the fall sometimes for whatever reason tends to be one of those reset moments. Um, and what, what are some of the things, especially when we're thinking about back to school, like, what are some of the things that you feel like maybe people miss or they don't think about it that you think are important?

Elizabeth Miller, Happy Healthy Caregiver I think it's just like, it is an opportunity to kind of re-evaluate everything, like your routines, like what you're doing, your priorities, and then putting some real action behind it. So we may have these best intentions of doing something, but if we don't really put the action behind it, then it doesn't always happen. So I think that's important to kind of take a look at it, maybe get the family involved and talk about, you know, what's important to us this fall season? You know, what do we want to focus on? And even just having those conversations with people like they have opinions, we have opinions, and sometimes we're

doing things that we think matter to everybody, but nobody really cares, right? Like we don't know. And so I think it's important to have those conversations and find out what really is important to the family and make sure we're moving forward in that. And so it's this mindset of moving forward, moving forward and using this back to school time to kind of reset, recalibrate and figure out what's important to everybody.

Emilia Bourland, OTR, ECHM, CFPS What are some, what are some, uh, examples of some things that you've seen people kind of change in those seasons? Like, cause I know like people, especially families will tend to get into routines. Like this is just how we do things and this is what works. And we don't want to change it because we think that's what's working. But what are some things that you've seen people change that have been successful for them?

Elizabeth Miller, Happy Healthy Caregiver I mean, some of the examples I like to talk about is just like, you know, self-care is a big one for me. And so really kind of figuring out like, you know, are we in the habit of doing things because they're on our calendar or is it something we really want to do? So like maybe looking at the things that are on our calendar, like going out to dinner with our spouse, like, you know, I don't think people think about that kind of stuff sometimes, like it's not just the care that's important to everybody. It's also the joy, the happiness, the things that bring you joy and happiness.

And, you know, self-care is a big one. I have a podcast called Happy Healthy Caregiver, and I talk about self-care a lot and I give examples of different things that people can do. So, you know, we have to get intentional with our own self-care and make sure we're kind of using this time to focus on it and use those moments. So another example I like to talk about is holiday stress. So we're not quite at the holidays, but they sneak up on us, right? And so like thinking about how we can simplify the holidays and simplify things and look at things a little bit differently and do things a little bit differently.

than we've done in the past. And I think it's important, you know, we talk about simplifying the holidays a lot and looking at things like how can we simplify the holidays, like, um, gift exchanges, how can we make them a little bit easier and a little bit different? So, um, you know, just little things like that to kind of ease some of the stress and look at it a little bit differently.

Emilia Bourland, OTR, ECHM, CFPS I think it's great advice, especially since, you know, you could kind of start thinking about it early. You don't have to wait until like December to start thinking about the holidays. So I think that's fantastic.

Brandy Archie, OTD, OTR/L, CLIPP So, OK, Elizabeth, we're going to pivot a little bit and talk about some of the, like, myths, if you will, of caregiving, particularly as it relates to this whole concept of, quote unquote, aging in place. Because we hear a lot of people say, oh, it's my dream to age in place. It's my goal to age in place. And I think that has different connotations and meanings to different people. And what does that look like for people? So like, when you think about aging in place,

Brandy Archie, OTD, OTR/L, CLIPP What do you think that people are really talking about when they say they want to age in place?

Elizabeth Miller, Happy Healthy Caregiver I think they want to stay in their home. They want to stay as independent as they can for as long as they can. And I think that's wonderful, but I think the reality of it sometimes is not possible for everyone. And it takes some planning and preparation, and it also takes some understanding that things may not go according to plan, and we may need to pivot and change. So that's one of the things that we talk about a lot. And like you were saying, we just have these myths around aging in place. And what does it really look like?

what does it really take? And you know, we talk about how we can prepare our homes and prepare our minds and prepare everything. So I think it's important to talk about it and have these conversations and figure out what people really mean when they say they want to age in place and what does that look like for them. So when we're talking about aging in place, one of the things we talk about a lot is just like our environment and making sure our environment is set up. And I think that's one of the things that we miss sometimes. It's like we say we want to age in place, but we don't always prepare our environment.

to make sure that we're doing that. And so I know you ladies are the experts on that, and you can talk about that a little bit more, but I think that's one of the things that we need to do. So we talk about it in theory, but we don't always put it into practice.

Emilia Bourland, OTR, ECHM, CFPS I'm sure Brandy has some thoughts on that, but the question I get asked a lot and people are always asking me, you know, how can I help my loved one age in place? How can I make sure my loved one is aging in place safely? How can I do this? How can I do that? And I always ask them, you know, like, what are your goals? What are your, what do you want to accomplish? And I think it's important to kind of figure out what the goal is first before we can figure out how to help them. So I think that's important.

Brandy Archie, OTD, OTR/L, CLIPP Yeah. And I think that it's really kind of a misconception. People say they want to age in place, but they haven't really thought it through about what that looks like. Because that also means maybe you need help and how are you going to get the help and where are you going to get the help from and who's going to pay for it. And so all of those things are kind of floating around in your head, but you're like, oh, I just want to stay in my home. So I think we need to kind of talk about it a little bit more and kind of figure out what that means and what it looks like.

Elizabeth Miller, Happy Healthy Caregiver I think it's also important to understand that sometimes it's not possible, you know, and that's okay. Like, you know, maybe the goal is to stay in your home as long as you can, but maybe the reality is that at some point you're going to need more help and you're going to need to move. And that's okay. Like, it's okay to have those conversations and to understand that that's a possibility. And I think that's one of the things we don't always talk about.

Brandy Archie, OTD, OTR/L, CLIPP And you know, what kind of work you do now so that you can stay in your home as long as possible, like, you know, having the right people around you, having the right equipment, having the right environment, all of those things kind of play a part in it. So I think that's important too.

Elizabeth Miller, Happy Healthy Caregiver And I think that's one of the things that people don't always think about. Like, they think, oh, I'm just going to stay in my home. But like, what does that mean? What does that look like? What does that look like for you? And I think it's important to have those conversations and to figure that out.

Emilia Bourland, OTR, ECHM, CFPS So I'm curious, um, you know, when people say that they want to age in place, do you think that they, um, really mean that they just don't want to go into like a nursing home or an assisted living facility? Do you think that's what they really mean? Like, they just don't want to go there?

Elizabeth Miller, Happy Healthy Caregiver I think that's part of it, but I think they also want to stay as independent as they can for as long as they can. And they want to be in their own home. They want to be in their own environment. And I think that's part of it too. And I think that's important to kind of figure out what that looks like and what that means for them.

Emilia Bourland, OTR, ECHM, CFPS Yeah, I think that's true. I think that's true for a lot of people. And I think that's one of the things that we need to kind of figure out is like, what does that mean for them? What does that look like? And how can we help them do that?

Brandy Archie, OTD, OTR/L, CLIPP Yeah, and I think it's really important to have those conversations and to kind of figure out what that means and what that looks like for them. And I think that's one of the things that we need to do is have those conversations and figure it out.

Emilia Bourland, OTR, ECHM, CFPS I think that's such an interesting point to make and a really helpful way to look at it, that when we're at work, we expect actually to have a distinct set of responsibilities. And we expect to, in most situations, be part of a team where everyone has their part of the job and we're all working towards a common goal, right? And then when we get home, our mindset totally shifts and...

It's like, okay, well, this is all my job in order to be a good person, in order to be a good daughter or spouse or mom or whatever it is. I have to do this all on my own and I have to figure it out. And that just doesn't really actually make sense and it's not possible and it's not certainly not sustainable. So I really, I love that idea of like, let's shift your mindset here. If you were at work, how would you think about this? Let's think about this in the same way.

Elizabeth Miller, Happy Healthy Caregiver Yeah.

Elizabeth Miller, Happy Healthy Caregiver Yeah, and don't discount the younger people of the things that they can do in your household. Like, you know, we sat the kids down when they were these ages and we're like, look, your mom and dad are simultaneously caring for parents right now, working full time. Like, we're losing it and we're going to need you guys to step up. And here is some of what that can look like. You know, it could be simple things like trash comes on Mondays. We expect you to be the person that's taking the trash out. Are you on empty dishwasher?

or we're walking the dogs or feeding the dogs, there are things that they can do. And that's one less thing that you have on your plate. And we're supposed to be teaching them, frankly, how to be independent people. Yeah.

Brandy Archie, OTD, OTR/L, CLIPP Yeah, and take care of those things. And like the other really important part of that is when you add people into the mix, then they also feel responsible for the whole thing. They're a part of the team, whether that's your kids or your siblings, if you're caring for your parents, it's like, instead of this being, this is a thing that Brandy does, and if she needs help, she'll call me. It's more like, I'm expert at financial management, so I'm going to handle the bills for mom.

But Brandi's nearby, so she's gonna do this, this, this, and this person's gonna do this, this, this. And then everybody has a stake in it, and then also is working towards their strengths, as opposed to doing things that feel a lot harder than the things that you're really good at. And I feel like, especially with like kids too, you just get a level of ownership of the whole thing, and we're part of the team that's gonna make this happen for whomever we're caring.

Elizabeth Miller, Happy Healthy Caregiver Yeah.

Elizabeth Miller, Happy Healthy Caregiver Yeah, I mean, ideally on these sheets, there is one person who's the owner of it because then it gets fuzzy, right? Like they can pull other people in, but you own it. You know, you're driving this. And so I think that's important to distinguish that. And then we don't want to just fill people's names in either. Like we've got to communicate this together. And so to your point, it's like, OK, we're creating the care team and this is what it looks like. And then I think to you, like, did we

Brandy Archie, OTD, OTR/L, CLIPP Mm -hmm.

Elizabeth Miller, Happy Healthy Caregiver Have you forgotten about something? Like it's a good reminder for that. And it can change, but then it also gives you kind of something to go back to when people aren't showing up the way that you had originally outlined for them and say, look, we put you down here as tech support, but mom's been having really a lot of issues with her iPad and what's the solution for that? Or do we need to...

find somebody else to own this and would you rather take on another job or something? Is this more than you thought it was gonna be? So it just gives you that kind of that playbook to have those conversations.

Emilia Bourland, OTR, ECHM, CFPS and facilitate really clear communications and to your point earlier, expectations, right? Because I think that 99 % of problems are either caused or prevented by the communication that we have. So if we have good communication, we're preventing a ton of problems. And the nice result of good communication is we generally have clear expectations too. If we have bad communication and unclear expectations, like it's just a recipe for

Elizabeth Miller, Happy Healthy Caregiver Mm -hmm.

Brandy Archie, OTD, OTR/L, CLIPP Yeah.

Emilia Bourland, OTR, ECHM, CFPS for disaster there.

Elizabeth Miller, Happy Healthy Caregiver Yeah, I mean, that's the fine line between happiness and disappointment is just what you just described. Like, what if you started talking about these things and you were more vulnerable about it? And I think that's where caregivers and maybe more so women even, like we feel like we've got to take all of this on and make it all happen. And what if though you let the crack show a little bit and you were vulnerable about how things were really happening in your life and that...

how your health was changing, how your happiness was changing. Like you've got to let the crack show in order for the light and the help to get in. Like it's necessary. It's brave to be vulnerable.

Brandy Archie, OTD, OTR/L, CLIPP And the other thing I think I really love about the intentionality of like going through a worksheet and sitting down and having a meeting with everybody who's going to be involved in this care team is that it also gives you the opportunity to one, blame it on something else. It's not on a person and set a timeline, right? Cause while this, while you would deal with this, like a project, if you're at work, it might be an ongoing project with no end that you foresee, that you have. You don't have like a date. Most of the time at work, you got to get a thing done by a certain time.

Elizabeth Miller, Happy Healthy Caregiver you

Brandy Archie, OTD, OTR/L, CLIPP So somebody else can do it or so that it can come to life. But caregiving, you don't know what that end date is. And so if your worksheet says like, hey, we're going to revisit this in six months, or we're going to go over this every three months or whatever, then that one gives everybody an opportunity to reconsider how they're helping. And two, things might be changing. And there might need to be more help. And then instead of it being attached to one person,

And them breaking, it's more like, okay, we're doing this together as a group and it's gonna have changes and ebbs and flows and we're recognizing that upfront and then we're gonna deal with it as such. It's just like how like me and Amelia have said this before, like when you're working with a patient and you've asked them to do something, the family is like, we have a hard time with X, Y, Z. You're like, listen, blame it on Dr. Brandy. Brandy said do X, Y, Z, I don't live there and they can be mad at me. For this situation, we can like,

Blame it on this piece of paper. This piece of paper is what we decided on and agreed on. If we don't like this piece of paper, that's fine. We can change it, but we need to come together and do it. And then it's not like a thing against me, you know?

Elizabeth Miller, Happy Healthy Caregiver Yes.

Elizabeth Miller, Happy Healthy Caregiver I love the...

The revisiting is a really good thing. There isn't currently a date on there to revisit, but absolutely. The minute you have maybe filled it out initially, go ahead and schedule the meeting for three months from now. I'm a big, when you're at the doctor, schedule the next meeting or maybe even the next two or the mobile dog room or whatever it is. I want to take one more thing off of my list and I don't want to have to... And actually it's multiple things. I don't have to remember over and over again, I need to call, I need to call, and then actually do it. It's a huge time saver to do that.

Brandy Archie, OTD, OTR/L, CLIPP Yes. Also, MIP to Trish Saffa, I really love that they do this because it's always chaotic because it resonates with all these little kids. They're like, and here's the next two appointments. And like, they just automatically schedule you and then you have to call and reschedule if you want to change it or you can tell them to change it. But they just automatically schedule and they're like, here you go. Bye. So, yes.

Emilia Bourland, OTR, ECHM, CFPS Yeah.

Elizabeth Miller, Happy Healthy Caregiver Yes.

Elizabeth Miller, Happy Healthy Caregiver Yes.

Emilia Bourland, OTR, ECHM, CFPS: So if there's, first of all, I just want to say like the amount of information and wisdom that you pack into a very small, like amount of, a very small amount of time is absolutely incredible. I can only imagine what it would be like to have you come and speak for a, like, I just can't, I'm sure it is so incredible. I hope I get the opportunity to see you speak live.

Elizabeth Miller, Happy Healthy Caregiver: Thank you.

Elizabeth Miller, Happy Healthy Caregiver: Yes.

Emilia Bourland, OTR, ECHM, CFPS: somewhere, someday, because I know it would be amazing. But if you had like three final words that you wanted to use to help kind of like sum up, you know, what we talked about here today, or, you know, no pressure at all, just put it all into three words here. Yeah.

Elizabeth Miller, Happy Healthy Caregiver: Thank you.

Elizabeth Miller, Happy Healthy Caregiver: Yeah, I mean, like it changes every time, you know, today, today, my wisdom that I want to share is like, you know, yes, you can, you can, and you have, you are empowered to make change in your life. And if you are waking up and you are like, I'm dreading this day, like it needs to change and you need to reach out and talk to somebody, whether it's a therapist or maybe it is somebody who's understands the caregiving landscape, like a care coach. I think it's finding your community.

Like you've got to find the people who've been in the trenches and who understand and will never judge you for what you're going through and what you're saying. And so there are virtual communities for that. There are in-person communities for that. I hope that my community is one of those outlets for people. And I'm happy to be a part of other organizations like Daughterhood that has virtual support. So things like that are in ACAP also, which has in-person support groups and programming for adult children of aging parents.

So community, empower yourself. And just like the guilt is gonna come up, like you cannot do all of these. Like there is no job description that you could write for a caregiver and be like, hey, would you wanna do this job? Nobody's gonna wanna do this job. And you're never gonna get paid enough for it and you're gonna feel guilty about all of the other things that you're not doing right now. And there's nothing I could say that's gonna make that.

Emilia Bourland, OTR, ECHM, CFPS: Hahaha

Elizabeth Miller, Happy Healthy Caregiver: guilt feeling go away because sometimes guilt can be a healthy check too. Like it's not all bad. But when the guilt comes up, just replace it with another G word and that is grace. Give yourself grace. You are doing the best you can with the information, the capacity that you have right now and you're crushing it.

Emilia Bourland, OTR, ECHM, CFPS: So where can people find you? So we know there's Happy Healthy Caregiver podcast, which absolutely folks should check out. It is wonderful and unique. But where are all the places that people can find you, connect with you, connect with your resources? I know you have a ton of free resources for caregivers. Would you share that? Because I know after listening to you, people are going to be like, where can I get more of this?

Brandy Archie, OTD, OTR/L, CLIPP: clean.

Elizabeth Miller, Happy Healthy Caregiver: Yes.

Elizabeth Miller, Happy Healthy Caregiver: Yes. So I kind of have two pieces of my business, Happy Healthy Caregiver. So everything external, like the podcast, the social tips, the speaking that I do and all of that is geared towards a family caregiver audience. And so you'll find all happyhealthycaregiver .com is gonna have podcasts and all the links to all of that stuff. I've also got a course on Whole Care Network University. Six Steps to Infusing Self -Care in Your Caregiving Life. So you can check that out. There's some digital resources out there too. And then, but I had to also kind of figure out how to monetize my business and I didn't want to charge family caregivers for everything because they're already paying so much out of pocket. And that's really where the past, you know, several years I've been focusing on professional speaking. So if you want to hire me for your company, I work a lot with employee resource groups. I work a lot with

Brandy Archie, OTD, OTR/L, CLIPP: Yeah.

Elizabeth Miller, Happy Healthy Caregiver: area agencies on aging, sometimes they're in person, sometimes they're virtual, different foundations and associations. And I'm a professional speaker, which means that I'm a paid speaker and you're doing that because you pay me for this and then I can do all of these other things. And then I'm also have found to be kind of an accidental influencer in this care economy space. And so there are fabulous like age tech things and other products and services that people are coming up with to help family caregivers and they can I have built a trusted community and if I like what you've got to offer and I think that it could be helpful for family caregivers, then you can advertise on the podcasts and newsletters and so forth. And so we can have a relationship that way.

Emilia Bourland, OTR, ECHM, CFPS: Awesome. Well, thank you so much for being here. You are such a joy to listen to. I feel like every time I talk to you, I get a little smarter. and. that's nice of you to say.

Brandy Archie, OTD, OTR/L, CLIPP: Yeah, thank you.

Elizabeth Miller, Happy Healthy Caregiver: Well, likewise, I'm learning every day. I mean, I love y 'all's podcast, Care Lab. It's another outlet because my podcast is very specifically focused on family caregivers giving practical care tips and caregiving stories from firsthand experience. But there's a lot of other experts and expertise out there that need to be spotlighted. So thank you for learning every day. If we're not learning, we're kind of done.

Emilia Bourland, OTR, ECHM, CFPS: Mm -hmm.

Elizabeth Miller, Happy Healthy Caregiver: dying with the tortoise. Yeah, like, yeah. So thank you.

Brandy Archie, OTD, OTR/L, CLIPP: Yeah.

Emilia Bourland, OTR, ECHM, CFPS: Yeah, life without learning is super boring, super boring. But yeah, thank you again so much for being here. Listen, if you enjoyed this podcast, make sure that you are subscribing to CareLab. Just take a second right now and just click that little button. Make sure that you're liking, make sure that you are sharing with other people that you think could benefit from this information. Absolutely check out Elizabeth at happyhealthycaregiver .com and we will see you next time on CareLab. Bye.

Elizabeth Miller, Happy Healthy Caregiver: Hmm.

 

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